HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS (or how not to suck as a person)
Everyone wants healthy relationships, but few are willing to become the kind of person it takes to create them. Healthy people form healthy relationships. If you suck as a person, you will suck at all your relationships. You are the common denominator in all your relationships! If you want your relationships to be healthy, start with yourself.
Who or what is in control?
Unhealthy relationships are built upon people trying to control others. It could be through violence and intimidation, or it could be through manipulation and guilt trips. Whatever form it takes, controlling others is wrong (and futile!) If you want to have healthy relationships, abandon forever the idea of controlling anyone else and start controlling yourself. Take responsibility for your own life. Make your own choices. Follow through. Give others the same freedom. Then you can choose to be in relationships that operate on the basis of honor, freedom and love. Self control is the beginning of all relational health.
The two most powerful words in the universe
“Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” – Jesus
You don’t get to tell other people what to do, but you always get to say what you will do. “Stop talking to me that way!” is a demand (and a waste of breath). “I will listen to you when you can talk respectfully” is a declaration of what you choose to do. The difference is powerful.
Powerful people say, “I will” or “I will not”. They say “yes” or “no”. Powerless people say “I can’t” or “you made me” or “I have to”. The day you realize that you are the only one making your decisions, you become powerful. Even if you have been in an unhealthy relationship, the moment you exercise your power of choice, things will change. You have the power of the “yes” and the power of the “no”. Any other way of relating is evil. Don’t fall for it.
Sunday we start a new series on relationships at Mountain View Church. It has the power to change your life. That power lies mainly in the fact that up until now, many of you didn’t realize you were living as a powerless person. Once you learn to flex your yes and no muscles, you will improve all your relationships. Here is an opportunity. Choose to come to the whole eight weeks. Or choose not to. But don’t say you “can’t”.